Heavy Sigh

I love teaching. I do. I love student learning, and challenging myself to challenge my 8th graders. I love my co workers, and my teammates. I do. Really.

But I cannot believe how hard it is to leave a baby.

It's like I'm missing a limb. His smiles, coos, squeals, snuggles, even cries...I'm missing it all. Yesterday, he and his nanny spent more time playing together than he and I did.

While I am very upset about all this, I have to look at the positives or I'll never make it through.

Thankfully he still gets up to nurse. Four o'clock came around this morning and Cohen was hungry. Never before in my 28 years have I ever once jumped out of the bed in excitement at 4:00 am. Never. I heard that little cry in the middle of the night, and it felt like Christmas morning.

Another positive...he smiled the hugest smile (by the way, Dad...he looks so much like you when he smiles that big!), and squealed with excitement kicking his legs so hard when I took him from Ruthanne today.

Today is going to be especially hard because it's Open House night. :( This means I work all day, spend three hours with him, then head back in until 8. The worst parts (there are two) 1) I am missing bath and bed time for the first time in his life 2) He may have an ear infection!

So, on top of all of that I'll be taking him to the doctor during that three hours of seeing him and hopefully figuring out why he tilts his head so hard to the right side when i touch his ear. Poor baby.

Being a working mom is rough. There's just no two ways about it.  I could really use prayer this school year, and especially days like today and conference days where I hardly see him at all. Please pray that the Lord comforts my heart when I feel like breaking down. That I can continue to be positive, and especially that I don't lay this burden on my students.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10