The Marshall Family: He Will Make Your Paths Straight

I see the faces.

Parents handing their babies to strangers; reluctance scrunching their smooth faces, too young to feel this worn down.

I, too am that face.

The aching of walking away from my baby, hearing his screams in the next room. I know that face for I wear it, too.

I see the faces.

Determined mothers carrying baggage on their arms; baggage on their hearts and of duckling daddies following close behind--fumbling--senses not quite functioning together like they should.

I, too am that face.

Laser focus on the next step. Widening my wing to take in the man that is the other half of my heart because this is my world, for he is forced constantly into his own to keep the rest of our world steady. I know that face, for I wear it, too.

I see the faces.

Family, friends, colleagues. Not quite knowing the words to give me. Trying to hide their eyes so I don't call their bluff--worry. Clinging their babies a little tighter when they look at pictures of mine.

I, too am that face.

I grab on to these babies like there's no tomorrow, and I fight through the desire to worry. Every hour. Every minute. Every day. I know that face, for I wear it, too.

Yes, I see these faces. They're bright in contrast with the world I left behind when everything changed. These faces I never miss.

It's the face of the doctor I can never seem to remember.

When he says there are still masses in my baby. When he gives me the facts as they are: we are cutting your child open. Two weeks. Be ready.

I don't know why I can't recall his face. Maybe because it's only the words that matter. The black and white images on the screen with dots blaring their news: CANCER. No, I can't remember the look on his face when he delivered the news, but his words are permanently inked on my heart. I can recite them forward and backward and upside down. I never forget the words. The words matter. The words move us forward.

And we are moving forward, so don't be sad for us.

This is not what we hoped for, but it is what we prayed for.

God's will.

That He knows more than even the best of all motherly instinct, and if He knows surgery is what's best for Hudson, we will head down that path. Trusting faithfully in this face I've never seen yet is etched within; living and breathing in me.

We can overcome because You, who overcame death lives inside us!

We give it to You, Lord. We need You. Oh, how we need You! Every hour, how we need You!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

The facts as we know them based on preliminary results of the CT and MIBG. These can change/tweak to be (usually worse) different. We will update you if/when we get more information.

*Tumors are still there.
*What once appeared to be one massive tumor at 5X6X8 (inches), is now two tumors. One is a little over 1X1 and the other 1X.75 (inches)
*Cancer is still present in the left tumor/adrenal gland.
*It takes millions of active cancer cells to make cancer show up on our technology. It takes one active cancer cell to attack his body again, so we are taking out both adrenal glands.
*This means he will be on a steroid supplement (what the adrenal glands make) for the rest of his life.
*Surgery will be the week of April 7. I am pushing for the 7th itself. We will know more at our consultation with our surgeon, Dr. Meagher on Thursday the 3rd.
*CT will happen four weeks after surgery to see if anything else shows up or if it appears we got it all.
*If something shows up, more chemo. If nothing, we wait until August to do another scan.
*LUNGS CLEAN---------->>>>>>>>>>>PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!
*LIVER CLEAN------------>>>>>>>>>>>PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!
*BONE MARROW CLEAN------>>>>>>PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!
*Broviac will remain in his chest until August, and possibly later depending on what that CT scan shows.

Some of the Marshall family's every day and hospital days mixed together as of late:

Waiting on our anesthesiologist for his MIBG. He had last nursed at 2 a.m. This picture was around 9:30 a.m. So hungry, yet not that fussy...that's our Hudson.

Just hanging with Daddy

Results for CBC taking a while...so let's nap!

We've gotta get this cancer thing kicked...I've got work to do!

My feet and I have become pretty friendly.

Check-in picture for Daddy on lab/clinic day.

His new favorite activity? Grabbing his big brother, of course! He grabs and pinches and nearly leaps out of our arms to get to Cohen.

...but he loves that Momma, too ;)

Cohen's new thing: Family lunch. Where he came up with this idea, I have no clue, but he is SO into family right now. He puts food together and we pretend to eat it as a family. Family lunch. :)