Monday, August 11, 2014

Right Between the Eyes

Nursing Hudson before nap, I had a realization.

I was just thinking about how fast this first year has gone by and how I can't believe that in just about a month, he'll already be one. ONE!

I was thinking about how I need to soak up every minute of these last few days when I am with him all day because I'll miss so much once I head back to school.

But wait.

While I DID have to teach last year, when I look at the timing of his birth and the timing of his cancer, I realize...I got the majority of his whole first year at home with him. Sure, we were battling cancer for some of it, but we were TOGETHER.

I saw his first smile, laugh, rolling over, scooting, crawling. I heard his first words. I saw his personality grow from blobby little snuggle bug to ornery critter cracking up when he blows raspberries on my arm. I saw him and his brother create a bond that is so beautiful it could only be God-given.


I'll close my mouth now, being grateful to God that my sweet baby boy is HEALTHY, has been in my arms most every day since he's been alive, and praise Him that I have a job that is full of people I love, kids I adore, and insurance that let us financially keep going like normal while racking up well over a hundred thousand dollars in medical care, and counting.

It's funny how, right when everything we've ever wanted is sitting in our arms, we still want more.

I'll be working this school year to be, not only a better teacher than I was last year, but a more grateful teacher and mother for the amazing gifts that I have. Yes, I still believe I was meant to be a stay-at-home mother, and possibly that's because my momma was for us and I want to be just like her; and yes my heart will still hurt, I will still fight back tears or even shed a few ( a lot) when I walk out the door, but look around...I have so much.

Praise. GOD.

Raise your hand if you got your SECOND CLEAN SCAN!

O give thanks to the LORD; for He is good: for His mercy endures

                 Psalms 136:1 

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